December 06, 2003
11:37 AM

I am currently using the computer at Virgil Dickersons home here in beautiful Denver, Colorado. Last night I played horribly. I felt like I had never ever played guitar before. It's so strange to me. People told me I had done a good job, but I know myself and what I can do. I'm not sure what or why I was so nervous. I've definitely played much bigger shows as there were only around 100 people there, but it just didn't feel right for me. Oh well. I'm appreciative nonetheless. I told myself that this time around(Meaning playing music again on a more full time basis....First since 1996) I wouldn't beat myself up after feeling like I played poorly, but old habits are hard to beat. I spent a lot of the early morning(3-5 AM) lying in bed thinking about my performance and wondering about my future. I don't know...I just need to enjoy it or I need to stop playing. Well...Enough of that. Met some great people last night. Starting off with an amazing meal at this veggie restaurant called water course. I had the soup de jour black eyed peas and split a nachos with my friend. The waitress was beautiful and super nice. I wanted to ask her to go to the show, but I was too scared. Oh well. Felt super sleepy after eating and went back to the suburban home records office and took a quick power nap that lasted about 10 minutes. We headed off to the larimer lounge as I had to do an interview for a cable access music show called MUSIC LINK. It ended up not being an interview as I just hosted the show. Kind of weird, but still fun I guess. Saw some great bands open and then played my horrible set. I couldn't even remember lyrics. What the heck is my problem. One of the few highlights for me was looking to my left and seeing the smiling face of one of my best friends Matt Skiba. Coincidentally we played on the same night in DENVER as the alk trio and even though they had a 10 hour drive to Lawrence Kansas, he made it over to see me play. I appreciated that and it made me remember how good of a friend he is and how much he means to me. After the show we hung around the venue waiting to get paid. Met this beautiful woman named Jesse. I thought her name was DUSTI, but at the end of conversation I said "Nice meeting you DUSTI" and she said "It's Jesse".. OOPS!! Anyways, she was like 6 ft. tall. DAMN!! A few days earlier I had received an email from this guy named brooks who worked at a pizzeria called Marios in Denver and couldn't make my show,but said come by for free pizza after the show. So we went and got hooked up with a large veggie pizza. DAMN I'm feeling it now as we finished the whole thing amongst 3 poeple. ouch.. and there you go.. My last 20 hours of my life. Today..OFF TO BOULDER!! I'm gonna eat breakfast.

Peace always, Mike Park