November 25, 2003
11:15 AM

Hey there....I'm freezing again, but my mom bought a space heater, so it's not so bad and I'm nursing this hot tea that's bringing feeling back to these fingers. Tonight I will drive my big red van to Sacramento. The destination will be Mordam Records and I will arrive at approximately 1 AM. My plan is to sleep in the van until Mordam opens at 9 AM. My friends and the people at Mordam are wondering why I'm doing this??? I don't know. I just want to pretend I'm still a punk kid that can push his body to the limits. The Mordam crew tell me that the neighborhood is shady and that the temperature at night will hit the low 30's, but ya know what... I'm still doing it. I don't care. I've got a sleeping bag and I'm gonna just do it. Why not? It's fun. Last night was spent eating at my favorite restaurant and then riding my bike aimlessly in the freezing night. Looking at the different shops around town and riding by all the cafes and seeing people engulfed in their drinks and conversation. If it wasn't so cold I could have kept riding, but I couldn't feel my fingers after 30 minutes so I headed home. I try not to dive into any extreme personal stuff here, but why not. Here goes: The woman I love and will always love is leaving me. After 3 years it's over and my heart is broken. It's official. The world knows. She's my best friend in the world and still is, but now we need some boundaries to get past the hurt. It's never fun ending a relationship, but in this case it was her decision which makes things that much harder. Argghhh..... Well, that's where the bike rides come in handy. I can just ride my bike and think. Thinking and thinking and thinking. Life is standing still for me now, but I'm sure things will move again. Music is an outlet that I can't imagine being without. Playing the guitar is truly medicine, but that damn bike is truly my saviour right now. Well, that's the news. I feel like I come across as this super hero who has no weaknesses.. Well, here's my weakness y'all. Daggers are in place. Ouch.. WIsh me luck tonight as I sleep in my van. Goodnight.

Peace, Mike Park