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August 02, 2004
1:34 AM

When I was 9 years old I moved from South San Jose to Los Gatos, California. My first day of school was full of fright and dismay as all my friends were gone and now I had to start from scratch in a new school. On that inaugural day I met a boy named Kennedy Cosgrove. 25 years later, I still consider Kennedy my best friend.

Why am I telling you this? Well, tonight we hung out. Kennedy was visiting his mom and his step dad HANS and I was lucky enough to receive a call from his majesty. Argghhhh... I almost let out some important news about Kennedy, but just realized in coversation with Mr. Kennedy that his cousin Courtney reads this often and he told me not to tell anyone. Oh shoooootzzz.. This is probably making no sense, but I am relieved that I didn't say what I was gonna say???huh??

Ummmm... Anyways, I just saw Harold and Kumar goes to White Castle.. In my never ending quest to be cheap, I snuck into the movies. The side door was open and I just went for it. Kennedy was saying "NO" "I'll pay" You see, kennedy is a doctor and makes lots of money, but I am a poor musician who eats frozen pizza as fine dining.

Regardless, we both did it and I felt good. Smiling big with an evil grin perhaps. Yes...I am bad.. As bad as they get. Well, not bad in the sense that I get drunk and have sex with teenage girls like Kobe Bryant. I'm bad in the sense that if I found a hundred dollar bill on the ground I'd keep it. Or if I didn't like somebody and they were stuck on a country road with a flat tire, I'd drive by, but slow enough for them to see my face, then wave and smile.

If you want to see what kennedy looks like you can look in the pictures section. He's in there. He just left my luxury apartment a little while ago and I said why are you leaving? You're on vacation!! But he's getting old and was tired.. BOO HOO. I realize that I'm the same age, but I'm way younger and better looking. Maybe it's because I haven't worked a real job since 1989.

What's it like to work? What's it like to get fired? I can't get in trouble at work unless I fired myself. Will this last forever? Can life be this simple? What if I have kids? Does this mean that I can't just ride my bike in circles and eat green tea ice cream for breakfast? Oh the drama of it all.

Earlier in the day I went to my cousins daughters 1st birthday. Her name is Allison. What a beautiful baby. His oldest daughter is now 3 and she is the cutest baby in the world. The more cuter baby of the two babies. I told the family that they should definitely put her in commercials. He's married to a whitey, so they have cute kids. Mixed kids turn out good. Just like frozen pizza. It turns out good. Again, that made no sense. oh well..I just know my kids will be extremely good looking if I breed with a whitey. Because A.I'm like the best...Numero UNO!! Top DOG!! B.I'm only going to be with the best looking white girl...Number UNO!! Top DOG!!

Now I'm wide awake, but it's nearly 2 AM. Hmmmm... Maybe I'll call in sick to work? But who would I call? Shiiiiiitttee... I'm the boss. I can't call in sick. OH well. I'll go in late. Like around 10 AM. Yeah... Anyways, I better go to sleep. Or at least try. Hope y'all had a beautiful weekend. Take care...Smile big! Go up to that boy or girl that you like and say "I like you more than a friend!!" Tell your mom "Thanks for being my mom" and the most important thing is to be a nice person.

Peace always, Mike Park