February 16, 2004
11:53 AM

I rode my bike for about 3 hours total yesterday and probably never broke a sweat. One hand held a cup of tea and the other steered me aimlessly across the streets of downtown san jose. I ventured south, I ventured north, I ventured west and I ventured east. I saw beautiful houses, ugly houses, and many, many apartment buildings. I thought about a lot things. It was truly a day of pondering. Mostly I thought about Bridgett and how much I miss her. I rode early in the day and then rode again at night.

I think I enjoyed the night ride the best. There's nothing like the feeling of numbness coming across your face as you ride through the cold darkness. I rode to a local pub called the Caravan and had a beer with this guy Ross. It was $1.50 for bud on Sundays. A man next to me kept talking to me in his drunken state about not having a job. Argghhh... I being the nice guy tried to lend a friendly ear, but his beligerent blabbing got the best of me, so me and Ross went for a walk. We had a pretty good talk and walk. He had broken up with his girlfriend only a few weeks before me and Bridgett. And had started dating nearly the same time as myself, so we talked about stuff. He was completely over his ex-gfriend and told me that it was basically over months before it had officially ended.

But that's not the case for me. I'm still in love and am spinning back and forth when I think about things too much. When I got home I checked my email and I got a letter from Bridgett. She had seen me earlier in the day riding my bike. Asked me how I was, etc.. She had heard I was doing good. Doing good? From whom did you hear this? Hmmm... I didn't write back. I've made it a conscious effort to not have any contact for a long while.

Whether that's the best thing to do or not is really hard to tell at this point, but needs to be done. I have feelings/desires to just go away. I can't wait to tour and travel. I feel on the one hand a freedom to be able to play music and have nothing holding me back. A feeling I haven't had since Skankin' Pickle where I had no job other than playing music. Can I still do that? Hmmm... It's been on my mind and is an exciting idea.

I have dreams of going back to Japan and living there again for awhile and discovering amazing punk rock bands that I don't know of yet. I want to go to England and hang out with friends that I cherish over there and eat french fries until my body can't take it anymore. Hmmmm....

Peace, mike park